I sat in the pub across from a girl I had just met. She was rambling on and on about how she had been cheated on by an ex-boyfriend. We had been introduced through a mutual friend and it was a completely chance encounter. I happened to know this boy she was talking about, but tried to downplay to what extent I knew him. ‘Do not ever date him,' she warned, 'because I guarantee you, you won’t be the only one he’s sleeping with.’
That was a week after I had begun seeing The Ex. Her Ex, the one she was referring to. He had told me about her. I knew her as some crazy girl who had some vengeance against him and had been telling this story to anyone who would listen. He claimed to never have slept with her, let alone dated her, but the warning lingered in the back of my mind for the subsequent months I was with him. The nights he didn’t call. The nights he didn’t show up as he promised. The rumours. All of it brought me back to that conversation.
‘That prick,’ she began, ‘is a liar and will sleep with anything that walks.’
I patiently listened as she ignorantly told his new girlfriend (me, of course) about how much she hated him. I had left the pub, laughing to myself, thinking I knew the real story. I went straight to him.
‘Guess who I just had lunch with.’
He looked at me, cocking his head to the side. ‘Who?’ I said her name and his eyes immediately began to roll. ‘That crazy bitch.’
My mother told me never to trust a man who was cruel about his exes. I ignored the advice. ‘She was absolutely mental. Have you really never slept with her?’
‘Never! I swear to God, (my name here), I helped her move once and then she started calling me all the time.’ I loved when he said my name.
I looked him in the eyes and said, ‘I believe you.’ Because I did. I had to. We went back to mine and had sex in the middle of the day before heading out for dinner and then back to mine again. It was summertime and hot. We were lying on my bed, watching tv in nothing but our pants. He was the most attractive man I had ever been with and his body glistened in the heat of the night. I had never felt so physically compelled towards anybody before. We had sex again that night before falling asleep. It was too hot to sleep together physically so he pushed the couch up next to my bed and we fell asleep holding hands. I woke up in the middle of the night and he was still holding onto my hand. When I woke to a cold room in the morning I intertwined the fingers of my free hand into his free hand, waking him just long enough to pull him onto the bed.
Any and all warning signs were overshadowed by my complete infatuation with The Ex.
~
Everybody comes with a warning sign. Some aren’t quite so obvious, some aren’t even apparent at first, but some are so blatantly in your face from the first moment that you have to actively bury them deep inside in order to ignore the signs that eventually start popping up.
A brief history of some boys I know:
The Ex – a cheater.
Dill – a cheater.
Dr. Boy – a cheater.
Rower Blue – a major cheater.
Shag Buddy – a cheater, as I found out via facebook and his ‘relationship status’.
Grey – not a cheater as far as I know, but has self-proclaimed problems that he put forward as warning signs. They are far from as detrimental as the ones that came along with all subsequent exes. The fact that he was the one who advertised them almost completely negates them as well. They did not involve chronic cheating or a current girlfriend, so I was satisfied.
I am not sure why I attract men who are in relationships. They usually omit the fact that they have a significant other, and had they not I would have never slept with them. It is usually an after-the-fact revelation. With The Ex I was so in love that I was willing to believe that everybody else were the liars. Why would he lie? He wouldn’t lie to me, surely. Or so I thought.
Relationships don’t need to be that difficult. Having been cheated on, I am always rather distressed when I realise that I may have inadvertently been a cheater with somebody. In the case of Dill I was well aware of what I was doing and that was my mistake, but I have discussed that in length. Being the other woman without knowing it always leaves you with a sense of betrayal. There is nothing that can come from that situation. I certainly wouldn’t start a relationship with someone who had cheated with me, since in general those who cheat with you will cheat on you.
Regardless, many many months of a relationship is hard to condense into one post so I will incorporate my relationship with The Ex into instalments on various topics of interest. I was listening to my iPod earlier and a song came on that pretty much sums up our relationship:
Kate Nash - 'Foundations'
That was a week after I had begun seeing The Ex. Her Ex, the one she was referring to. He had told me about her. I knew her as some crazy girl who had some vengeance against him and had been telling this story to anyone who would listen. He claimed to never have slept with her, let alone dated her, but the warning lingered in the back of my mind for the subsequent months I was with him. The nights he didn’t call. The nights he didn’t show up as he promised. The rumours. All of it brought me back to that conversation.
‘That prick,’ she began, ‘is a liar and will sleep with anything that walks.’
I patiently listened as she ignorantly told his new girlfriend (me, of course) about how much she hated him. I had left the pub, laughing to myself, thinking I knew the real story. I went straight to him.
‘Guess who I just had lunch with.’
He looked at me, cocking his head to the side. ‘Who?’ I said her name and his eyes immediately began to roll. ‘That crazy bitch.’
My mother told me never to trust a man who was cruel about his exes. I ignored the advice. ‘She was absolutely mental. Have you really never slept with her?’
‘Never! I swear to God, (my name here), I helped her move once and then she started calling me all the time.’ I loved when he said my name.
I looked him in the eyes and said, ‘I believe you.’ Because I did. I had to. We went back to mine and had sex in the middle of the day before heading out for dinner and then back to mine again. It was summertime and hot. We were lying on my bed, watching tv in nothing but our pants. He was the most attractive man I had ever been with and his body glistened in the heat of the night. I had never felt so physically compelled towards anybody before. We had sex again that night before falling asleep. It was too hot to sleep together physically so he pushed the couch up next to my bed and we fell asleep holding hands. I woke up in the middle of the night and he was still holding onto my hand. When I woke to a cold room in the morning I intertwined the fingers of my free hand into his free hand, waking him just long enough to pull him onto the bed.
Any and all warning signs were overshadowed by my complete infatuation with The Ex.
~
Everybody comes with a warning sign. Some aren’t quite so obvious, some aren’t even apparent at first, but some are so blatantly in your face from the first moment that you have to actively bury them deep inside in order to ignore the signs that eventually start popping up.
A brief history of some boys I know:
The Ex – a cheater.
Dill – a cheater.
Dr. Boy – a cheater.
Rower Blue – a major cheater.
Shag Buddy – a cheater, as I found out via facebook and his ‘relationship status’.
Grey – not a cheater as far as I know, but has self-proclaimed problems that he put forward as warning signs. They are far from as detrimental as the ones that came along with all subsequent exes. The fact that he was the one who advertised them almost completely negates them as well. They did not involve chronic cheating or a current girlfriend, so I was satisfied.
I am not sure why I attract men who are in relationships. They usually omit the fact that they have a significant other, and had they not I would have never slept with them. It is usually an after-the-fact revelation. With The Ex I was so in love that I was willing to believe that everybody else were the liars. Why would he lie? He wouldn’t lie to me, surely. Or so I thought.
Relationships don’t need to be that difficult. Having been cheated on, I am always rather distressed when I realise that I may have inadvertently been a cheater with somebody. In the case of Dill I was well aware of what I was doing and that was my mistake, but I have discussed that in length. Being the other woman without knowing it always leaves you with a sense of betrayal. There is nothing that can come from that situation. I certainly wouldn’t start a relationship with someone who had cheated with me, since in general those who cheat with you will cheat on you.
Regardless, many many months of a relationship is hard to condense into one post so I will incorporate my relationship with The Ex into instalments on various topics of interest. I was listening to my iPod earlier and a song came on that pretty much sums up our relationship:
Kate Nash - 'Foundations'
No comments:
Post a Comment